"Kamusta ka naman?"

Kahit Inaasahan kong itatanong niya sa akin iyon ay nagulat pa rin ako. Lagi naman niyang nababasa ang mga iniisip ko, ang ikinikilos ko, at ang mga nararamdaman ko.

"Hindi mo kailangang sagutin kung 'okay lang' ang sasabihin mo."
"Oo na. Malungkot ako pero hindi sapat iyon para pigilan kong maging masaya," sabay kibit ng balikat.
"Buti ka pa nga, e. Kayang-kaya mong itago ang nararamdaman mo. Madali lang umarte para sa iyo."
"Dakilang tamad kasi ako,e."
"Ha?"

Hindi ko naman alam kung dapat ko abng sagutin ang tanong niya. Pakiramdam ko kasi, bubuksan ko na naman ang sugat ko kapag ginawa ko iyon. Hindi niya kasi naiintindihan ang kahulugan ng salitang 'asin'.

"Kapag ipinakita ko kasing nasasaktan ako, maaawa sila. Kapag sinagot mo ang tanong nila, hihingi sila ng kasunod na plaiwanag. Kaya mas mabuting um-oo na lang."
"Baliw ka kasi,e. Ayaw mong amining tao ka lang."
"Hindi naman sapat ang pagiging tao para hayaang saktan ka ng iba."

Katahimikan ang naging kasunod. Parang, pareho naming pinag-iisipan ang mga susunod na sasabihin. Para marahil maiwasang masaling ang damdamin ng isa't isa.

"Nasaktan ka ba nang nagkahiwalay kayo?" tanong niya pagkaraan.
"Hindi," mabilis kong sagot, dahil hindi naman kailangang pag-isipan ang sagot. Sarado na kasi ako ngayon. Paganahin ang utak dahil nasa utak lang ang lahat - pati ang emosyon ay pinoproseso ng utak. Nasa folds lang ng magaling kong utak ang lahat, hindi umabot sa puso, hindi dumaloy sa arteries at veins na dinadaluyan ng aking dugo. Hindi. Hindi.

"So, hindi mo siya minahal?"
"Siguro."

Ano bang sagot ang dapat na isagot sa mga tanong na ganito? Oo at hindi lang ba talaga ang sagot? Marami namang bagay ang nasasagot nang simple lang, bakit kailangan pang gawing kumplikado?

"Paano mo ba malalaman kung totoong nahulog ka na?" ako naman ang nagtanong para marahil ay may maisagot sa mga susunod niyang tanong.
"Kapag naramdaman mo nang tumama ka na sa ground. Kapag nagkabali-bali na ang buto mo at pinasok na ng lamig ng semento ang katawan mo."

Hindi ko naman alam kung bakit kailangang magpasikat ng pagkakataon at biglang dumaan ang lalaking iyon sa mismong harap pa namin -- kasama ang babaeng pumalit sa akin. Nananadya. Nang-aasar ang tadhana.

"Hindi ka talaga nasaktan?" tanong niya ulit sa akin pagkaraan nila, nang nakataas ang kilay.
"Matigas pala kapag solido ang semento."

 

    Due to lack of sleep and very active hormones, nahihirapan akong matulog ngayon. Wala talaga sa mga plano ko ang magblog, pero, dahil sa tawag ng keyboard, heto ako ngayon. Hininhintay ko ring magload ang videos ng Secret Code concert ng Dong Bang. Katatapos ko lang magbasa ng mga sentimyento ng mga fans na gustong pasikatin ang KPop sa bansa. (Babangasan ko talaga sila!) Gumawa ng tula, at nalungkot... because they still have that delicate spot inside my heart.
    Natripan ko lang na balikan pansamantala ang nakaraan, at napadaan ako sa blog ni Novitta Ignacio. :D

    Apat lang naman talaga ang naaalala kong TD Tutors. HAHAHA. ROFLMAO. I'm just not really good with names. Syempre, malakas ang loob kong dumaldal ngayon dahil malamang sa malamang, hindi na kami magkita pa ng mga taong 'to.

    Una, si Ate Kring -- Ang taong palagi kong inaabangan ang dance moves. Syempre, ang taas nung isa naming quiz, nagkataon kasing KPop fan din pala siya. HAHA. Magaling magdala ng damit, sa aking palagay. Does fashion follow dancers?

    Pangalawa, si Ate Gela -- Yes! Maganda rin 'to,e. :)) Ang ganda rin niyang manamit. Fashion follows money. Kidding. Pero sa totoo lang talaga, magaling talaga siya. Akala ko isusumpa ko ang Chem., hindi pala. Thanks to Ate Gela. Fan din ako ng loveteam niya with Kuya Jerome. :)

    Pangatlo, Si Kuya Ryan -- Description not applicable.
                                           Joke lang. Naalala ko ang usapan namin ni Merry nung first day ng summer classes, magkatabi kami nun,e. :) HAHAHA. LOLOLOL. Pagpasok pa lang niya(Ryan Gabriel Madrid) sa room, tinginan agad kami ni Merry. HAHA. Laman ng usapan. Plays the guitar and piano well. Naging chever ni ChuChu. Pumuti at.. recently. :))

Pangapat, ang pinakagusto ko sa lahat, si Kuya Patrick Padilla -- Magaling. May laptop, may kotse, maganda ang cellphone ---  for short, mayaman. Joke lang, kuya! :)) Masokista, pero gusto ko talaga 'yun. Nag-eenjoy siya kapag nakikita niyang nagpapanic na kami. Basta astig. HAHAHHA.



Positive naman lahat ng comment ko, yes? :)) Tinutubuan ako ng wisdom tooth. Ang sakit! Trip lang 'to. Desperado akong magkapera, swear! XD
   

*MAMATAY*


OhmyGOSH. Naghahanap lang naman ako ng matinong 2010 calendar ng DBSK or ng SHINee. E, walang logos dun sa 2010 calendar ng Dong Bang, kaya lipat naman ako sa SJ. Wala pa ring logos, nagppromote ata sila ng manok. HOHO. At... hindi sinasadyang nakakita ako ng scans ng Picture ni Heechul na ganito.

Baby.. It's really cold outside.

BUHAY KA PA BA??????????????

*Wala akong makitang ganitong pictures ni HYUK- ie? T.T

NOTE : HOOWWW, I don't have a plot. I have nothing in mind, actually. At first, I thought about doing some freelance writing, but, kow, that's not my cup-of-tea, so, here's a fic for you. :))

****
    I looked around and got disappointed. Again. Why is it that I always look for you even in places where I know you wouldn't be? In this sea of people, how come it is you that I came to love? I wanted to be happy -- and your happiness would be that. But your happiness is not because of me; it is because of her -- that girl you have met just recently. Bitter. Yes. We have been together for such a long time... and you overlooked that part.

    My happiness, NO, your happiness. I"d say, OUR happiness is just a part of my wish... and then time made it my world.

---

    "Kow, I'm really getting frustrated with this math problem, how do you even solve this?"
    " HEH?? That's pretty easy. Breeze!"

    It's that look again. The look that says 'I'm so sarcastically humble." Dude, she's just not like those other students in the class, Nisse is smart, she's just a lazy-body like me.

    "Got a long test later but I don't mind. HAHA. Cris and Bie's taking so long. Where the hell are they?"
    "Oh, they're buying their food." I looked at Nisse, she's looking at the hallway towards the canteen. I wonder what is it that I came to love about her? Is it the smile... her thin lips that become thinner whenever she forms that arc? Is it her carefree attitude that goes well with mine?

     She turned her head and looked at me. I blushed, I was caught... though she never seemed to notice that I was staring at her.

    "You know, Mirotic's being shown at MYX"

    I looked the other way. GOD! This is... weird. I looked at her, and found out that she's looking at her.. again. Let's name 'her' as... PFFFSHHH. I looked at PFFSSHH too, I had a crush on her before, but it's now gone. Pfffsshhh went on the table beside ours.

    "April... she really looks good, " Nisse.
    "Yeah... she does."
    "OMG. I'm having fangirl feelings fo her again. HOOWW."

    I realized that my wish is to always see her this happy. She is my world, and by making this wish... I'm gambling my entire world to Destiny. If I lost, then my world would crumble. Absolutely.

****

     HOWWWW. I know, I know. This is not good. Forgive me, Whatever's written were not thought of. HAHAHA. This was just some random... thoughts. :D

NOTE : HOOWWW, I don't have a plot. I have nothing in mind, actually. At first, I thought about doing some freelance writing, but, kow, that's not my cup-of-tea, so, here's a fic for you. :))

****
    I looked around and got disappointed. Again. Why is it that I always look for you even in places where I know you wouldn't be? In this sea of people, how come it is you that I came to love? I wanted to be happy -- and your happiness would be that. But your happiness is not because of me; it is because of her -- that girl you have met just recently. Bitter. Yes. We have been together for such a long time... and you overlooked that part.

    My happiness, NO, your happiness. I"d say, OUR happiness is just a part of my wish... and then time made it my world.

---

    "Kow, I'm really getting frustrated with this math problem, how do you even solve this?"
    " HEH?? That's pretty easy. Breeze!"

    It's that look again. The look that says 'I'm so sarcastically humble." Dude, she's just not like those other students in the class, Nisse is smart, she's just a lazy-body like me.

    "Got a long test later but I don't mind. HAHA. Cris and Bie's taking so long. Where the hell are they?"
    "Oh, they're buying their food." I looked at Nisse, she's looking at the hallway towards the canteen. I wonder what is it that I came to love about her? Is it the smile... her thin lips that become thinner whenever she forms that arc? Is it her carefree attitude that goes well with mine?

     She turned her head and looked at me. I blushed, I was caught... though she never seemed to notice that I was staring at her.

    "You know, Mirotic's being shown at MYX"

    I looked the other way. GOD! This is... weird. I looked at her, and found out that she's looking at her.. again. Let's name 'her' as... PFFFSHHH. I looked at PFFSSHH too, I had a crush on her before, but it's now gone. Pfffsshhh went on the table beside ours.

    "She really looks good, " Karisse.
    "Yeah... she does."
    "OMG. I'm having fangirl feelings fo her again. HOOWW."

    I realized that my wish is to always see her this happy. She is my world, and by making this wish... I'm gambling my entire world to Destiny. If I lost, then my world would crumble. Absolutely.

****

     HOWWWW. I know, I know. This is not good. Forgive me, Whatever's written were not thought of. HAHAHA. This was just some random... thoughts. :D

    Sa totoo lang, wala akong alam kung bakit ako nagsusulat. Wala rin akong alam kung bakit parang galit na galit sa akin ang mundong patuloy kong tinitirahan. At hindi ko na alam kung bakit bigla-bigla, bumaligtad ang pag-ikot nito.
    I just don't know where to start again.I want my normal life back... and I want them... in it. But as much as I want to always hold on to them, they had given up on me. It hurts... a lot.
    This is me. The truest and most honest me. Though my life has always been an open-book, I am letting you read a part of me that I've always protected for privacy.
    I am lonely. Undeniably broken.
    But, I also would like to thank Elline and Nikki who stayed with me. I'm sorry for having you mixed-up with this. Thanks a lot. I love you. :)

Note: Kung sisimulan mo 'tong basahin, make sure you finish 'till the last post. I just don't want misinterpretations.

****

    "Forgive me for being human. Forgive my carelessness, I just don't want to bind myself. You never knew... how chained my emotions are right now."

**May continuation pa 'to. Teka lang. PBB,e. :)

CLE time. Favorite time ko ng paggawa ng kung anu-ano. As usual, wala na naman ako sa huwisyo makinig. Kaya...ito ang kinalabasan.

Titile: None *yet*
Rating : K+
Warning: There some minor bad languages used. As stated in the Rating. :))
*****
*****
*****

     And we're standing face-to-face again. the only diffirence from last time was that my face is all soaked with tears. I am talking to him. One-on-one. Heart-to-heart.

     FSHIT. I really don't like this. I hate breaking up. I hate crying. I freaking hate this man. Though, I must admit, I still love him. UCKSHIT. This is so really fucked-up. The lights, the candlelit dinner, the pool,...everything.
     FUCK.

     I still love him though. FUCK.

     "Sorry."

     Okay. So that was the last word that I ever wanted to hear from him. Darn!

     "Tell me, honestly. Did you love me?"
     "I did."
     "Okay."
     "You know.... I really do love you. I guess, I just got tired."

     Silence.

     "Tired of what? Of me?"
     "No. Of things. Of...everything."
     "Of me."

     And that was the lamest excuse, I guess. Badtrip!
    
    And today, I had the worst realization ever. That there would be no man more suitable for me than he. AISHH!! DAMN HIM!

     "What really happened, Daniel?"
     "I told you already."
     "And you're that tired of me that you can't even properly explain what happened?
     "I grew tired, okay? That's it!"
     "DAMN YOU! Why can't you honestly say that you just grew tired of----"
     "Of everything."
     "Of me."

     And that the last blow. That was the goodbye. The closure. The ending. The final period that ended our once happy fairy-tale.

     That was the last to an 'us'.

     Actually, ang dami kong gustong isulat, pero, nung magttype na ako *poof!* nawala lahat ng sasabihin ko. HAHAHA. Ang saya-saya ko ngayon. Source? Yaoi and that *effin* baby picture of Karisse. :DD
     HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAAAHHAHAHHAAHHHAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As in ang saya ko talaga ngayon! Kahit pa nga nasermunan na naman kami ni Mrs. Calderon, masaya pa rin ako. Grabe.

*Warning: This is some yaoi stuff. If you hate boy-on-boy relationship, 'wag niyo na talagang basahin. Pero, kung curious kayo, basahin niyo na rin.:))*

     Sa totoo niyan, mga katoto, e, nanunuod ako ngayon ng "Papa To Kiss In The Dark". Yaoi, Mediumcore (Is there such a term?). Hindi siya softcore yaoi, e. May smexy scenes kasi. (Oh well, you know what I mean) Pero, sa aking pananaw,e, hindi rin siya hardcore, though, there are some ACTIONS (XD) there. Pero, hindi talaga siya kinocover fully, parang iniimply lang na may nangyayari. :DD (To make it clearer, para lang siyang Junjou Romantica)
     Ang cute ni Mira (Wee!). Pero...Kazu talaga ako! <3333
     Hindi ko pa siya tapos, nagcontemplate kasi ako kung papanuorin ko ba siya or hindi. Pasado naman ang animation, pero, the plot! Oh, man! Si Mira ay inlove sa kanyang ama! Ang main love team ay si *dyandyararan!!!!* Mira and DAD.
     Akalain mo yun? INCEST, MAHN! Syempre, accepted ko ang incest! Pero, among sibllings or cousins lang! Tapos, yun nga, syempre, pinanuod ko. Tapos, parang ako, oh my EFFING GOD! HOTNESS OVERLOAD! Yun na! *Spoiler: (Dun sa part na pinapanuod ko, hindi pala tatay ni Mira si Kyousuke.)*
     HAHAHA...Yun na. Masaya ako lalo. Tapos, bago ko pa panuorin yung Papa to Kiss in the Dark, e, nanuod muna ako ng Ikoku Irokoi Romantan. Grabe, kung ako lang, tatapusin ko! Pero, kasi, nakikinuod yung mga tao dito sa bahay! If you're in for some hot yaoi stuff, (Has there been a time that yaoi's not hot?) hardcore, I should add, then this anime is for you. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It will cause major nosebleed!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!! Grabe, this is really hardcore, though, I should say, Sensitive Pornograh is still the best. Meron pa akong irerecommend, Uta Kata is the title. Pero, Yuri 'to, parang side story lang yung yaoi, pero, may due umphasis pa rin. Patience lang people.

     Sige, magrerecommend ako:
****HARDCORE:
Sensitive Pornograph (Ooohhhhhh..Karisse and I found this on an H site :D)
Ikoku Irokoi Romantan
Junjuo Romantica
Kirepapa
Haru wo Daiteita (Real yaoi actions! Haven't watched the whole series though. Advice: Animation might turn you off, just like what it did to me. :)))

****SOFTCORE:
Kyou Kara Maou
Gakuen Heaven
Saint Beast
Uts Kata
Papa to Kiss in the Dark
Loveless
Princess, Princess

*****Manga:
Hayy..too many to mention. Go to Mangafox. I even forgot some titles I've read. Ohhh....Mangafox is deleting licensed mangas recently, just like what Crunchyroll did.
Yaoi mangas there are sort of flagged ( some, I mean.) lalo na yung may explicit garphics.:))
WHOOOOOOOOO!!! Grabe, detailed pa nga yung iba,e..:))

..nawala na ang mga sasabihin ko. Nalunod kasi ako sa dalawang lalaking naghahalikan na nakikita ko ngayon.:))

****Yung picture ni Karisse, I'll show that to you some other time. Super, GAGS TALAGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*****